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Four Things We Need To Grow (part 4 of 4)

This is the fourth of a four part series. Click here to read the rest of the series.

It would be impossible to list or name every way that human beings are unique. What we look like, what we enjoy, even what we want out of our lives all differs from person to person. However, the process of achieving success, getting to where we want to go, or more simply, growing is a similar process for all of us.

We know that growth will not occur if we don't get in the game. Starting is the most important step we can take.

We know that every human being needs community to grow. We are the average of our five closest friends and if we want to grow we must surround ourselves with people that want to grow as well.

We know that self-awareness is essential to growth. To know what to improve we must be aware of where we fall short.

If you followed 100 people pursuing goals over the course of one year and all of them embodied those three things, you would still find that some people grew much more than others. Why? How is it some people grow much further and faster than others? The answer lies in the fourth thing all human beings need to grow.

A few years ago the CEO of a marketing company contacted me and had a somewhat strange request. She asked if I would be willing to coach one of the companies VP's on public speaking, but we weren't allowed to tell the VP that I was a coach because he didn't actually want to be coached.

The VP was told that he would be meeting with a consultant to help him prepare a presentation to give at breakout sessions during tradeshows and conferences.

Our first call was 45 minutes long and I spent 45 minutes listening to this VP explain to me how much public speaking experience he had. The next few calls went similarly. When I tried covering any content related to how to prepare a message or deliver a message, the VP would listen and then tell me that those were cool tips, but he had his "own style" he preferred.

At the end of our contracted period of "not-coaching" the CEO called me and told me she was a little disappointed in the VP's growth as a speaker. She said she was surprised we hadn't made more progress. I laughed and just said, "If someone doesn't want to get better, they won't."

The fourth thing every human needs to grow is by far the simplest, but it is the foundation to anyone's growth.

The people that grow the most are those that choose it.

It's as simple as that. Seek growth out and 99% of the time you will find it. This can look a lot of different ways. For those short on time, but hungry to grow, it can be as simple as letting others know you are working on a certain part of yourself or your life. Making growth a part of your normal conversations tells others "they wants to improve" and subconsciously allows them to help you grow.

There are also more intentional ways to invite growth in. Start by making a list of things you want improve. Your temper, your financial acumen, your health, and then find someone who is better than you at that and ask them how they got there. Growth does not come easily. Growth requires initiative. Just start.

Growth calls for community. Surround yourself with like-minded people.

Growth necessitates self-awareness. You can't grow what you aren't aware of.

Growth demands a desire to grow from the person needing growth. Someone else can't want it for you.

We all have things we want in life. Are you willing to grow for it?


Fear of public speaking can cut your career wages by up to 10%.


Write down one of the four things every human being needs to grow that you want to focus on this next week.

Community. Initiative. Desire. Self-awareness.


Who wants you to grow the most? You or someone that cares about you?


“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” - Ernest Hemingway

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