I'm sitting in the barn on a bale of hay, wringing my hands, heart beating much too quickly for someone who's been stagnant for the last hour.
My mom's student, Lacey, walks up and says, "This is the longest I've ever seen you sit still, are you broken?"
At 9 years old, I'd lived a pretty care-free life up to this point. In just a few hours, that was all about to change. I had won my showmanship division with my pig and now had to compete in what they called "Round Robin." A decathlon style livestock showing event in which the winner of each species shows the others animals. Llamas, goats, pigs, sheep, and beef cattle.
Lacey, discerning the problem, looked at me and said, "Jason, the steer you're showing later is the biggest baby I've ever seen. He's a big puppy dog. Stop stressing."
Stressing? I'd heard the word before, but truly didn't know what she meant. So I asked.
"Stressing? It can mean a lot of things. Being super busy or under a lot of pressure can cause people to stress. Having to go through something challenging can cause stress. Truthfully, a lot of times people stress out for no reason, just like you right now."
As I grew up I learned that stress is simply a part of life and that as we get older and gain responsibility, stress is almost always attached to that responsibility. Thankfully, people like Judy Moskowitz, a research psychologist at Northwestern's Feinberg School of Medicine, are conducting brilliant research on how to manage stress in our everyday lives.
She's documented the effects of eight skills and practices on people in high stress situations, like caring for a spouse with dementia or living through a traumatic experience.
Moskowitz's has an online course that will immerse you in these eight skills, but for this week and next, we'll take a 10,000 foot view to start down the road of managing our stress better.
Positive Events
People tend to fixate on the negative. Instead, focus on one positive thing about your day. Did you get coffee this morning? Is the sun out? Focusing on the positive can create a chain reaction in our day to minimize stress and maximize positive emotions.
Savoring
Noticing something positive is a good start, but Moskowitz says we should try and hold onto those moments. When was the last time you looked at some of your favorite photos in your camera roll? Instead of scrolling while eating lunch, think about how incredible the food is.
Gratitude
Gratitude has received a lot of attention in the last few years and can seem a bit of a cliché, but that's because it works. Keeping a list of things you're grateful for can have a noticeable effect on diminishing stress.
Daily Mindfulness
Another skills that you've probably heard of, but not truly practiced. To start, try finding a quieter place and simply making your breaths twice as long. Notice how long it takes you to inhale and exhale. As you do, calm should come.
These skills are only as good as the effort you're willing to give them. We'll look at the final four skills next week. In the meantime, choose one and try it out the next time you're feeling stressed.
Fact
Stress is a hormonal response from the body. When stressed, your kidneys release "stress hormones" which can include adrenaline and cortisol.
Action
Text yourself three things you're grateful for.
Question
Who is the biggest cause of stress in your life? Do they know that?
Quote
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” - William James
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