Early on in life I learned a second language. It's a nuanced and sophisticated language that not everyone understands, but when used correctly, can truly enhance a social situation. Unfortunately, none of my tutors thought to teach me Spanish, Japanese, or Mandarin. Rather, everyone in my family became fluent in Sarcasm.
Sarcasm became so second-nature that it began to follow me into most situations. In some circumstances, it demonstrated a certain social awareness and humor that levied the weight of situations and brought laughter into the room. If it did come across wrong, outwardly I could always rationalize and explain that I was simply being sarcastic and was sorry if it went too far.
However, I realize now that there is one person in my life that when spoken sarcastically to, the effects often lingered in a damaging way: myself.
You may find it strange to hear that as a leadership speaker I don't necessarily prescribe to "positive self-talk." I always found it cheesy and disingenuous. I mean, if you need to verbally tell yourself that you can do something, success in that endeavor doesn't seem likely. As I've come to learn, this is a harsh and naive stance. It turns out, how we speak to ourselves and what we say does influence outcomes in our lives.
We know from the research that negative self-talk (yes, even sarcasm) doesn't usually reflect reality and therefor can create an inaccurate self-image, convincing us we aren't capable of achieving success.
We also know that positive self-talk, or affirmations, provide real benefits like increased resilience, reductions in stress, and improved immune function. One study even found that endurance athletes that practiced motivational self-talk took longer to reach levels of exhaustion than their counterparts. How we speak to ourselves matters.
I remember my wrestling coach would always tell us that if we were feeling ill to tell ourselves, "I am not sick and will not get sick." All this time I thought he was being sarcastic. Turns out, he was just teaching us the language of self-affirmation.
Fact
One study found that students who used positive self-talk were able to maintain their balance for 11% longer than those who used negative self-talk or a mix of both.
Action
Write down one self-affirmation you can start telling yourself today.
Question
What did your inner dialogue tell you about your own self-talk as you read this article?
Quote
"Watch what you tell yourself, you're likely to believe it." - Russ Kyle
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