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Why you Should Always do the Dishes Before Mom Gets Home



If you opened this expecting some literary genius or hoping that the title was some strange metaphor to unveiling the secret of getting rich or falling in love; first of all you're weird and secondly this is nothing like that so if you're going to be disappointed go back to watching video's on your timeline titles "You have GOT to see what this monkey did to this cupcake."

Mini rant over. That was a fun start wasn't it?

What this post is REALLY about is... wait for it... get ready... EXACTLY what the title says it is: why YOU (as a child of a parent, which everyone in the world is because we're not that advanced in technology yet) should do the dishes before your mom (or dad) gets home from work. This idea came to me as I walked into my house from the gym today and saw the Mt. Kilimanjaro of dish mounds next to the sink. There was crumbs of bread littered across the counter, residue of Tuesday night's dinner (it's Friday) still clinging to plates and bowls as Jack clung to that piece of driftwood in the Titanic and at least three different cups that I had sipped out of just this morning. In other words, it was disgusting. Now, had this been the self-indulged, lazier version of me back in highschool I probably would've added another cup to the heap and then cheered on the two colonies of ants that are hours away from sieging war on the bread crumb cornucopia that lie amongst the ruins of forgotten utensils.

But nay, that is not the man that stands before you today. 

Instead, I began writing this blog post hoping to get it finished before Mom gets home, vowing to myself and the colonies of ants that I would do the dishes as soon as this was written.

So to my original point, it's really pretty simple. First and foremost, the most important reason you do the dishes before your mom gets home is because she FREAKING GAVE BIRTH TO YOU! She carried you, physically held you up (with no hands, which is even more impressive) for nine months straight. That's 274 days, 6576 hours and 13,512 episodes of Friends. That's a LONG time. I could go into all the details of the pregnancy process and the pain that is endured by the female whom is pregnant, but unless you haven't been to 6th grade health class (in which case you should NOT be on the internet), I'm sure you're all familiar so I'll spare you. The point is, you would not be on this earth had she not done that for you. Now if you're in a home with just a dad, same principle applies, because at some point he dealt with your pregnant mom and from what I've heard, that's not necessarily a walk in the park.

While this post is mainly aimed at high school aged folks, because the majority of you still live at home with your parents, I feel as if this next point can apply to everyone. In high school I would loudly and consistently declare, "I am SOOO busy today, oh my gosh I'm just swamped..." and then proceed to check Facebook and Twitter for four hours. This is not meant to be a shot to anyone's ego or schedule, because yes people are busy, but are you ever too busy to take 15 minutes out of your day to do something nice for the people who have raised you and provided for you? If your parents are anything like my Mom, no matter how crappy of a day at work she had, her attitude can be flipped right-side-up simply by seeing a clean sink. It's incredible the power of such a small act. My family has always had trouble comprehending the whole "be nice to each other" thing, but once in awhile in high school I would do the dishes and INCREDULOUSLY Mom would be in a completely elated mood the entire evening. This is not a hoax people! Yes, you have homework, yes you have chores and jobs and sports and band and FFA and everything else, but your parents have all that and YOU on top of it. It's not like you're the one's being held responsible for them. What's 15 minutes to 9 months anyways?

There's a thousand different ways you can word these reasons, but for the sake of the dishes still in the sink and the ants beginning their war chants, I'll leave you with one last one. It's the Holiday season. Jesus' birthday is approaching, spirits are high, homes are filled with Yankee Candle Red Apple Wreath smells and we're taking giant, flammable pieces of nature and putting them next to our fireplaces; it's a good time. Now, everyone knows that near the end of the year Santa starts to list out the names of all the children in the world, even those that don't still live with their parents (and we already covered that everyone is a child belonging to a parent, no matter what age). If you're thinking to yourself right now, "O. M. G. I'm totes making the naughty list this year **crying face emoji**. WHAT DO I DO?!" You're in luck because, much like a Christmas tree and holiday cheer, there's something else to be found in every house across this world... a giant pile of dishes!!! **Party popper, smiley face and gasp face emoji's** All you have to do is do the dishes BEFORE your parents get home and I will bet my bottom dollar that Santa (or those acting in place of Santa as the primary present buyers in your home... *hint hint*) jots you down on the nice list and hooks you up with a Pretty Little Liars combo pack, bonus features included.

If you're still wondering what in the world I'm talking about, then I'm surprised you even made it this far into the blog post. However, since you made it this far, why not stick it out for one last paragraph? The entirety of this post was to essentially say that our parents have done a lot for us. And by a lot, I mean everything. Survival on this planet without some sort of parent or guardian would be tarnished with economic struggle and heartache. So if you already do these things for you parents, keep it up and know with full confidence that they love you all the more for it. If you were like me in high school and simply couldn't compute that doing nice things before they were asked of me made my parents happy, then shock the world and do the dishes before they get home. If for nothing else, just remember those creepy, shiver inducing lyrics to our all time favorite Christmas carol, "He see's you when you're sleeping (what in the...), he knows when you're awake (seriously? Where is this guy?), he knows if you've been bad or good, so begoodforgoodness sake."

I'd love to hear about the nice things y'all do for your parents in the comments, but for now I either hear my mom coming or the black ants just employed chemical warfare... either way I've got some dishes to do :)

Much Love,

Jason

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