Shoot for the Moon, but Wear a Parachute

As an uncle, your job is to give the same advice your nephew has already heard from his parents—but because you're not their parents, they’re more likely to listen.

I’m sure that’s what Uncle Steve had in mind when he told my brother he needed a backup answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Becoming a professional baseball player is aspirational and cute—but unlikely. Ben and I were playing catch in our front yard when Uncle Steve pulled into the driveway. He grabbed his glove and joined us. After a few minutes, he stopped asking me questions and focused entirely on Ben.

“So you really want to make it big, huh?”

Ben answered by hurling a fastball in his direction.

“Got it. We believe in you,” Uncle Steve said. “Most professional athletes know what they want from a young age, but they also have a backup plan.”

My mind clung to that phrase—backup plan—as I left them to their catch and conversation. I knew my brother wanted to be a baseball player, and I’d always believed he would do it. Since I could remember, I told people I wanted to be an astronaut paleontologist—combining my two favorite things: space and Jurassic Park.

But for the first time, I realized I should probably have multiple goals in mind, in case one didn’t work out.

That day, I faced a truth that most adults eventually have to reckon with: we don’t always get what we want. There comes a point when we have to balance the passion of pursuing what we love with the wisdom of preparing for what might not work out. We have to shoot for the moon—and carry a parachute.

Finding the balance between preparing for failure and expecting to succeed is often what separates resilience from recklessness, and optimism from naïveté.

We should expect to succeed. High expectations fuel motivation, encourage risk-taking, and give us the emotional energy to persist through challenges.

We should also plan for failure. Doing so reduces the cost of mistakes, builds healthy humility, and often sets us on the path we were meant for in the first place.

Train your mind to believe you’ll win. Design your systems so you can keep going if you lose.

Optimism is the strategy. Contingency is the insurance.

Fact

People who only visualize success may become less motivated to prepare properly.

Study: Gabriele Oettingen (NYU) found that positive fantasies without mental contrasting (thinking about obstacles) actually led to lower achievement.

Action

At the end of today, record one small win you experienced today.

Question

Where in your life are you operating without a backup plan?

Quote

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson