In just a few short days gyms will be overflowing with new memberships, people hungry to see their number on the scale decrease. The "self-help" section at Barnes & Noble will be wiped bare, bottles of wine thrown out, coffee machines put on pause, and swear jars put into play, all in an effort to accomplish something for the New Year.
And then, inevitably, the excitement of a New Year's resolution will wear off and the drabness of our old habits will kick in. By January 15th, 96% of resolutions will have failed.
The question is, does that make those people a failure? Of course not, but they have failed to achieve their goal. The primary reason for this is because we have been setting goals wrong our entire life.
First, let's take a look at the word "resolution." The root word here is resolve, which according to the Oxford dictionary means, "A firm determination to do something." When we go about setting a New Year's resolution we decide on something we want to do.
This year, instead of deciding what you want to do, decide who you want to be.
Rather than ask, "What do I want do?" Ask, "Who do I want to become?"
"I will run a marathon" becomes "I am a runner."
"I will learn to play an instrument" becomes "I am a musician."
"I won't spend money on coffee" becomes "I manage money well."
When we resolve to achieve something, oftentimes the challenge can become overwhelming and we are left empty-handed, feeling unaccomplished. When we resolve to be someone, it doesn't matter if we fail to achieve a goal, because we know the person we are trying to become and that person will continue to grow, improve, and eventually will accomplish that goal.
An a failed resolution does not determine who you are, only you can do that. Who will you be in 2023?
Decide what you want to do differently in 2023. Then ask yourself, "What type of person does that?" Then go be that person.
Who do you want others to see you as?
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.” - James Clear