Rehearse Your Way to Relaxation

I open my eyes and reach for my alarm, trying to shut it off. My mind catches up with my body, and I realize my phone is silent. Did I already turn it off? Did it ever go off in the first place? I check the screen and groan: 3:10 a.m. — three hours before my alarm is supposed to sound. The same stupid dream woke me up again.

There are slight variations in the plot, but the dream always feels the same. I’m sprinting toward the airport, having apparently abandoned my car somewhere behind me. I trip over my shoelaces, bend down to tie them, and my suitcase bursts open. I frantically shove my clothes back inside and try to zip it shut — but the zipper breaks. A flight attendant’s voice booms from the sky: “Final boarding. The gate will close in 30 seconds.” I abandon my clothes and run for the airport. I arrive just in time to see my plane lifting into the air without me.

This dream only shows up in the weeks leading up to big speaking events — especially when I’m facing a new kind of audience — and it’s fueled by anxiety and nerves. Even after a decade of speaking professionally, I still get incredibly nervous whenever someone books me for an event.

The dream is my reminder that it’s time to get a handle on those nerves — and for me, there are a few foolproof ways to do that.

My first line of defense is preparation. Even if I’ve memorized the presentation or told the stories a hundred times, those mundane reps and familiar routines remind me that I’ve put in the work and deserve to perform well.

Of course, practicing or preparing for something — whether it’s a presentation, an important conversation, or a big event — can feel overwhelming if you try to tackle it all at once. That’s why I love micro-rehearsals: short, 5–10 minute practice sessions that help you prepare without feeling like you’re drowning in the task.

Another key is reducing uncertainty. Uncertainty is one of the biggest drivers of anxiety and nervousness. The best way to limit it? Practice until you’re certain. Visualize the ways things might go sideways and plan your responses in advance. Contingency plans turn unknowns into knowns — and nerves can’t survive in the land of the familiar.

Lastly, preparation frees you to be present during the real thing. When you’ve been through a scenario before, you can focus on what’s actually happening in the moment instead of being consumed by what might go wrong.

So if you find yourself nervous about a presentation, social gathering, or upcoming event, take it as your sign to rehearse just one more time.

Fact

Studies show that practicing in short, spaced sessions can improve performance and reduce anxiety more effectively than one long practice session.

Action

Schedule one micro-rehearsal for today. Put it on your calendar so it actually happens.

Question

What’s one situation coming up in your life that you could rehearse — even just for five minutes — to feel more prepared?

Quote

“Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” - Richard Kline