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Jason Wetzler

Home In On What Upsets You Most

I'm on a rooftop of an Airbnb rental in downtown Philadelphia, PA. It's brisk with clear blue skies and I'm locked in on a conversation with a friend about her job. She regales me with tale after tale from the past two years of her career and I'm flabbergasted at how someone could endure what she has.


I listen to the rest of her story which concludes with the possibility of her and her husband moving across the country so she can find a new job. They're in a state of uncertainty and I find myself in a state of frustration. As we head back downstairs to start cooking dinner I find myself getting angrier and angrier.


It's not long before people take notice and ask my wife if something happened. Remembering that I'm at a holiday celebration, I take a couple of deep breathes and begin to pull myself out of it. Then, I remember a question that a teacher asked me in high school, "What upsets you most about the world?" And I realize I was living through the answer to that question: when someone I care about experiences an injustice.


We are all born with a set of innate peeves and as we grow and experience more of the world, we will encounter what truly upsets us. To be clear, there's a difference between a pet peeve like someone not using their blinker at stop sign (I get it, it's the worst) and something of real consequence. While it's not healthy to obsess over these experiences and let them keep us in a state of pessimism and frustration, often, these upsetting experiences can be a clue to what we value most in the world.


If you feel disconnected from your work or everyday life, then think about what upsets you most in the world and make a concerted effort to change it for the better.


Fact

Anger is an emotion, not a behavior.


Action

Make a list of the top three things that upset you most about the world. Do something about one of them.


Question

When was the last time you were justifiably angry?


Quote

"Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber

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