From Transaction to Transformation

It’s fall of my freshman year and I’m leaving Animal Science 1 to head back to the main campus to finish my day. It’s September in Oregon so, of course, it’s raining. As I turn to put my hood on, my good buddy Jake yells after me, “Hey! Let’s ask if my brother will drive us.”

Jamie was a junior and was in the advanced class at the same time as our intro class. He was popular, hard-working, and most importantly, had a truck. Jamie is sitting with his friends as we approach and rolls his eyes, knowing what his little brother is about to ask.

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll give you a ride. Just stay low. I can’t let people know I’m driving freshmen around,” he quips.

Jake and I play it cool on the surface, but sneak an excited fist bump on the way to the truck.

We pull down the driveway and instead of turning right toward the school, Jamie turns left toward the highway.

“I gotta go see my girlfriend before we head back to class.”

Jake and I look at each other, confused, but shrug and figure we’re already here, may as well stick around for the ride.

A few minutes later, we pull into the McDonald’s drive-thru and a monotone voice comes through the intercom, “Welcome to McDonald’s, would you like to try our new crispy McChicken for only $1?”

“That’s alright darling, I’ll take the usual,” Jamie replies with a smirk.

Immediately the voice comes back through the speaker, this time with excitement and vigor, “Oh hey hey! Pull around, I’ll have it ready.”

We pull around and watch as Jamie and the 65-year-old Deborah greet each other. Jamie asks about her dog, she asks how his grades are. Then she looks at Jake and says, “Oh, there’s a mini Jamie!”

We introduce ourselves and before long we’re driving away toward school. To our delight, Deb throws in some extra McChickens for Jake and me. Through a mouthful of chicken, Jake playfully asks Jamie how he met his “girlfriend.”

“I was in the drive-thru one day and heard the truck in front of me being a complete jerk to the gal working. When I pulled up, it was Deb and she looked upset. Figured the least I could do was try and make her laugh. Been buds ever since.”

I rode back to school thinking about how many times I’d gone through a drive-thru and never really thought about the person behind the voice on the speaker.

Until that moment, it had always just been part of the process. Pull up. Order food. Pull forward. Pay. Leave. The voice on the speaker wasn’t a person in my mind, it was just part of the system.

For Jamie, it was different. Deb wasn’t just part of the process of getting lunch, she was a person.

Our world is becoming increasingly streamlined, with a focus on efficiency and cost-effectiveness. The question is, what is that cost-effectiveness costing us? When we only care about the transaction, we miss out on opportunities for transformation.

Transactional exchanges center around the completion of a task and focus on what each person gets. Transformational exchanges can accomplish the same thing, but go beyond the task and create a change in the people involved.

In short, transactions ask, “What do I need from this moment?” while transformations ask, “What can I give to this moment?”

Not every interaction needs to be transformational, but the people who make the biggest impact on our lives are the ones who turn ordinary moments into something transformational.

Jamie probably didn’t think much of making Deb laugh, but then he got to share that relationship with two freshmen who thought it was pretty cool that the McDonald’s lady knew our names.

To this day I make an effort, at the very least, to ask people working the drive-thru window how their day is going, a simple interruption that turns what most view as a transaction into something more.

This week, pay attention to the everyday interactions in your life, the cashier, the barista, the person answering the phone. Ask yourself a simple question, am I treating this moment like a transaction, or an opportunity?

Sometimes the smallest moments are where the biggest transformations begin.

Fact

Psychologists at Stanford University found that brief positive interactions with strangers can significantly increase feelings of belonging and well-being.

Action

Give someone in a service role a sincere compliment today.

Question

Who is someone you interact with regularly but don’t really know?

Quote

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” - Seneca