If my family had a say in it, "Arguing" would be the next sport we add to the Olympics. With the practice we've had, I guarantee my siblings and I would be coming home with a gold medal.
Unfortunately, they aren't giving out medals for winning pointless arguments. In fact, the only thing you get is a quick-dissolving sense of self-gratification and a lingering dent in your relationship with the person you argued with.
If we don't get anything out of it, why do we care so much about being right? Especially in situations that truly do no matter? For me it comes down to my ego. I would rather trip down an upwards moving escalator and fall for three hours straight than be wrong a single time. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but being wrong will destroy my self-confidence.
So I argue, even when it doesn't matter. And I fight, even when there is nothing worth fighting for. And I know I'm not alone.
If you're wondering if I'm talking to you, then ask yourself, "Do I believe there is a RIGHT way to mow a lawn? Or load the dishwasher? Or merge into traffic?"
The ugly truth is most of us care more about being right than we do about the people we believe are wrong.
There are two universal truths we must accept if we are to move past our unhealthy desire to be right all of the time.
If people think they're right, they're right.
There is a line for every person that determines what is right and not, and rarely will two people find that line to be in the same place. Reminding ourselves that our right doesn't have to be the same as someone else's will save us time, effort, and headache.
We can value being right or we can value the relationship.
If we truly want to move a relationship forward, we must let go of our desire to be right. There are only a handful of non-negotiables in this world, everything else should cede itself to moving the relationship forward.
Action
The next time you find yourself arguing for a trivial cause, just stop and let the other person "win."
Question
Do you care more about being right or moving the relationship forward?
Quote
“The more a person needs to be right, the less certain he is.” - Meir Ezra
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