3 Questions to Take You Off Autopilot

It’s a hot afternoon in Dallas, Texas, and I’m packed into a crowded SkyTram at the airport, shuttling between terminals. I’m flying home from a string of speaking gigs, and my eyes are heavy with exhaustion. I stare at my phone until the train stops at my terminal.

The next thing I know, I’m seated at my gate, scrolling to pass the time. Eventually, I board the plane and settle into my aisle seat. At some point, I stand up to let someone into the row, but I couldn’t tell you a single thing about what they looked like.

We land, I pull my bag from the overhead compartment, thank the flight attendant, and make my way through the airport. I wrestle my keys out of my backpack and head toward the parking lot.

Out of nowhere, a young boy walking behind me with his family shouts, “Wow! Look at the sun!”

I hadn’t even noticed there were other people around me, but his excitement was enough to make me look up. When I did, I thought the same thing.

Wow.

The sunset was beautiful, and yet I’d been walking toward it for the last 30 seconds without even noticing it.

The warm feeling of the sunset quickly gave way to a nagging thought:

“What else have I missed today? This week? This life?”

Ever since I was a kid, I’d lived life full-throttle, racing toward my dream of becoming a motivational speaker. But somewhere along the way, full speed ahead had quietly turned into autopilot.

I’d go through entire weeks without remembering much about them, rush from event to event without truly being present, and find myself reacting far more often than intentionally deciding.

I knew something needed to change.

The next week, I came across The Cafe on the Edge of the World by John Strelecky. In it, Strelecky introduces three questions that challenge readers to stop drifting through life and start living with intention:

Why are you here?

Do you fear death?

Are you fulfilled?

The questions were simple, but the longer I sat with them, the more uncomfortable they became.

“Why are you here?” forces us to think beyond paychecks, achievements, and status. It challenges us to consider what gives our lives meaning and whether the way we spend our time reflects what truly matters to us.

“Do you fear death?” isn’t really about death, but whether you’re truly living. Are you making the most of your time each day, or simply floating through life on autopilot?

“Are you fulfilled?” invites honest reflection about whether our daily lives leave us feeling genuinely satisfied. It reminds us that being busy and being fulfilled are not always the same thing.

At a certain point, flying to speak on stages, helping people write goals, and watching beautiful sunsets lost some of their luster. I’d been “living the dream” for so long that I didn’t realize I’d somehow slipped into merely “existing the dream.”

I turned back toward the boy who’d pointed out the sunset and smiled, grateful for his unintentional wake-up call. I slipped my phone into my pocket and walked toward my car, determined to soak in every last bit of the sunset.

Fact

Studies from Harvard psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert found that people spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re currently doing, and a wandering mind is often associated with lower happiness.

Action

The next time you catch yourself rushing through the day, pause for 30 seconds and intentionally notice five things around you.

Question

Which of those three questions makes you the most uncomfortable?

Quote

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” - John Lennon